Three Outrageous Examples of Racism No One is Noticing

Lately there have been a lot of examples of outrage over things that are big (the way young black men are profiled) and others maybe less deserving of real outrage (dressing up as a person of another race for Halloween). Here is my list of things that I feel should be getting a little MORE outrage:

1) Television roles: With only a few of notable exceptions (Ironside, Scandal, NCIS LA), television is woefully behind in its depiction of African-Americans in leading roles. Oh sure, they are the sidekick detective (Castle; Person of Interest, Elementary, White Collar) or even more reliably are "kicked upstairs" to be the occasionally appearing chief (Law and Order; NCIS, Chicago Fire, Castle (again), The Mentalist and too many others to list). In some shows (Blue Bloods,The Good Wife)it hardly seems as if anyone is not Caucasian... well I guess Galinda is the representative for all people of color on The Good Wife. As for sitcoms, well, let's just say that church may not be the most segregated time of the week. Isn't it long past time that we stopped having tokens in our media viewing and had real diversity?

2) People of color in fantasy: Okay, I can hear you laughing, but seriously how does a child feel they are part of Christmas in America when every elf, Santa and angel is Caucasian? Even the Whos in Whoville are little white people, for heaven's sake! Quick- - name a black superhero. Hm.. me neither. We think these things don't matter, but I say they contribute to racism in an unconscious way - by creating "outsiders" and "insiders" in our culture. We Caucasians don't really even think about it.

3) You probably already know that our criminal "justice" system is abnormally weighted against African-Americans and especially against male African-Americans, but do you realize that every single one of those "criminals" once they have served their time, is released without almost any possibility of earning a living? The offenses of the racist justice system just keep on giving for the rest of their lives. Many of those who are formerly incarcerated cannot get employment, a drivers license, rent an apartment,and they cannot vote. Many face fines and back child support they cannot pay. They cannot get loans for education. Many states prohibit them from getting public assistance - healthcare included. Since almost 40% of the incarcerated population are non-Hispanic African-Americans, these collateral consequences contribute hugely to the creation and maintenance of a permanent underclass and a nice population of repeat offenders. What other choices have we provided?

Why I Love My Husband

My husband George's birthday is today. Anyone who knows him knows how special he is. One time we each had our Vedic astrology read. George (who wasn't even present at the time) was described as being "an angel of delight". How true! In honor of this occasion I just thought I'd write down the top ten reasons I love him.

10. He is very handy -- he fixes lots of broken things, even if he swears a lot while doing so.

9. He has a silly sense of humor which makes me laugh even if I'm mad or blue.

8. He is low maintenance. When we moved to New York I had to convince him we should NOT use a cardboard box for a nightstand for the 9 to 12 months it might take to get our furniture from Columbus. When I ask him what he wants for his birthday, he says "Peace in Palestine". I can't deliver on that, of course.

7. He loves the world - he has been serving and visiting other countries and people in poverty for as long as I've known him. He authentically cares for those who are the most in need and have the least power. He's comfortable in many cultures.

6. He is very strategic about making happen what he thinks needs to be done, and making people thrilled and happy to do his will. Sometimes they even think it is their idea. It's a good thing he uses his powers for good!

5. Since we just went through packing up our belongings for the umpteenth time, I'll include that he really knows how to pack, move, and break down complex things into do-able projects. I just get completely overwhelmed, so I'm glad he is good at this.

4. While I have been recovering from knee replacement, he has nursed me, held me when I cried, cooked and cleaned for me, washed my hair, slept on a hard pull out sofa, and has never been impatient or complained.

3. He is a great father. Loving, kind, rarely angry and he misses his girls like crazy.

2. He is my biggest fan and supporter. When I'm on stage he sees no one else and he always thinks I'm wonderful (even when I'm not).

1. And the number one reason? He has seen me at my worst and he loves me anyway, exactly as I am. And I love him with all my heart.

I love you George! Happy Birthday!

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Physical Therapy (playlist)

My compilation of songs to get me moving and doing my physical therapy for knee replacement!

Music Therapy

I’m recovering from a full knee replacement three weeks ago. It hurts and is a VERY SLOW recovery. And it makes my back hurt like mad because of limited range of motion and pre-existing spinal stenosis. I’m also bored and cranky. About a week after coming home, my husband opened up his computer and started playing some BB King. I immediately felt better. I realized I had hardly listened to any music. I’d been distracting myself with TV. Couldn’t concentrate enough to read. In spite of this I didn’t really do much about it. Made a few jokes on Facebook about a Physical Therapy sound track, and looked up “Hurts so Good" (best PT song ever). Last night really sucked. I slept a total of maybe four hours and my back was screaming in pain. Woke up sobbing and really upset at 4:00 am. After I got sick of my self-pity, I thought, “this is stupid," and sat down to make a playlist of “happy" music. So since about 6:00 am (sorry neighbors) I’ve been listening to “Walking on Sunshine", “G-Bop", “I’m a Winner", “Your Sister Can’t Twist (but she can rock and roll)", “Let’s Get Loud", “Master Blaster", “Shining Star", “Keep on Movin’" and, of course, “Come on Eileen". Not only has my mood improved incredibly, you simply can’t help but feel good and get moving when you hear James Brown get down on “I Feel Good". And Chubby Checker sure helped my back with “The Twist". Now why on earth doesn’t Physical Therapy incorporate more music? I swear I’ve had more fun moving, walking, twisting, and doing my excruciating exercises this morning, than you can imagine. Let’s Get Physical! (whoops! I think I’ll leave that cheesy number OFF the set list, though!)

Reflections on Mad Men

First off, I have to say I love this show. The writing, the acting, the attention to detail — all just perfection. But there is one thing I find a little troubling. In general, there seems to be a reaction from (or on behalf of) many men that paints this as some sort of nostalgic golden age.

The reaction from women, however, is horror. I’ve watched Peggy have an illegal abortion after being used by Pete, Joan be prostituted for the sake of business, secretaries be harassed, patted on the ass and denigrated. Watched Joan and Peggy struggle for respect and an equal place in the office, and seen Don, Roger and Pete repeatedly cheat on their wives. Everyone drinks and smokes to excess. People regularly drink and drive. Women drink and smoke while pregnant. African Americans hardly have a place at all in the corridors of power, let alone ordinary equal rights. They hardly even make an appearance in this show, which is reflective of the actual conditions of the 60’s. Then there are the “minor" things, like mindless littering, no seat belts, and a truly sickening moment where Betty, as some kind of pillow talk foreplay, jokes about helping her husband rape a teenager. Wow.

I have little nostalgia for this time. How can anyone watch this and not be utterly grateful for the sweeping changes in consciousness, behavior, respect and inclusion of minorities and women? It helps to have lived through this time. I remember when highways were trashcans. Remember the anti-littering commercial with the weeping Native American chief? It began the shift in consciousness to clean up the country. I remember rolling around the back of our station wagon without seat belts and the startling highway fatality statistics that prompted Ralph Nader’s book “Unsafe at Any Speed".

I remember my surgeon father-in-law arguing with me that it was unproven that diet affected heart disease! I remember my brilliant mother was told she could not join “men’s" occupations. My generation was one of the first to break that pattern and have real opportunities in medicine, law, and business. I was pregnant around the time when doctors finally started telling women not to drink or smoke. Not to mention the revolution of natural childbirth and nursing.

Sure women have a long way to go, especially around the world, but hey, we’ve come a long way baby! (hmm… that was actually a cigarette ad. Maybe I should find another expression.)

Go Where It's Warm

My friend Ed Moed is a brilliant pianist and musician, but what I like best about him is that he has a very encouraging spirit toward even the most uneducated musical efforts. At The United Methodist Church for All People, where George and I spent the last ten years, Ed would patiently work with people who had written a song - to help them enhance it, play it for them, and write it down. There was never a sense that he felt superior to others or resented the time they took. He has frequently helped me develop chords for tunes I’ve written and done fabulous arrangements of them.

I have found that, when it comes to the arts (or anything else, really) there are two kinds of people: Those who feel they must protect their status, and those who choose to live in generosity and gratitude.

Before I moved to New York, I asked all my friends for contacts in The Big Apple. I found that some of those contacts are immediately suspicious that I’m trying to “use" them or somehow take away from what they are doing. Others have been generous and helpful. I met one such contact, a drummer from Chicago, for coffee one day. He feels some musicians give off a bad vibe and it ultimately hurts them. He eventually ended up with their gigs because they are bitter, resentful, and “closed off". Audiences, club owners and producers can sense this. He became wildly successful in just six months by being open, positive, generous, determined, and (of course) talented.

One evening I spoke to a jazz guitar player I heard at Cleopatra’s Needle and asked him for his card in case I wanted to put together a gig. He spent 10 minutes telling me what a pain electric guitar gigs were because of transportation, and nobody paid enough, and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, his card went directly into the trash. Why would I hire him?

Another time I was at Smalls Jazz Club and tried to talk to three young musicians at a table near me. They gave me the cold shoulder. I thought, “Well, you might have just missed your big chance, buddies!" I mean, in case I get famous and all!

In contrast, my friend Daniel Bennett has been fantastically generous in providing me encouragement and opportunities to sing. You can tell he extends this spirit to everyone around him and that it is reaping rewards for his career as well.

Another friend of a friend gave me this sage advice which has become my new mantra: “Go where it’s warm".

So, I don’t worry about rejection. Instead I search for places where the atmosphere will be supportive and bear fruit, and I try to bring love and generosity to each situation. When I encounter a cold shoulder, I try to give anyway. I even sent a gig opportunity to one musician who was clearly just “too good" to give me any attention. I mean, why not? "Give and it shall be given unto you" is the truth about life.

What are Mothers Really Like?

Another year, another frustrating attempt to find a suitable Mother’s Day card for my unconventional mother. The cards that talk about the self-sacrificing, sweet, nurturing, house-keeping mother are inappropriate and sometimes even funny, given my upbringing.

 My two younger sisters and I were raised to be strong, opinionated, competitive and successful. Our mother was the disciplinarian and Dad was the pushover. My mom was, at least when we were young, a housewife, but a highly intelligent artistic one who was frustrated by the boundaries imposed on women in the 50’s and 60’s.

I love and admire my mom. Just not for the sappy reasons on the cards. My mom was the one who pushed us, refused to accept excuses, and went to bat for us. It is from her I got my intelligence, my opinionated nature, my singing voice, my acting skills, my outraged quest for justice for the oppressed, my work ethic, my persistence, and my obsessiveness. Love those traits or hate them, that’s who I am and many of those things have served me well.

 So… can it really be the case that my Mom is so unusual? Or does this holiday bring out the worst of our stereotypes about who moms are supposed to be? I mean, I’m hardly a “Hallmark Mom” either! Most of my kids’ lives I worked full time and from the age of 30, had a singing and acting career as well. We taught our daughters to be self-reliant, smart, ambitious, determined and competitive. I’m sure that they remember many times I was tough on them. Our daughters now both have full time careers. Kathryn is a human rights attorney in Uganda and her wonderful husband Dave cares for their children. Our youngest, Jennifer, is a pastor. It is likely if she and John have children that John will be the primary care-giver.

With all the successful career women, why aren’t there more cards about moms as professional role models? Why do so many Mother’s Day cards seem to say the greatest accomplishments of mothers is caring for the physical needs of their families, or successfully navigating their kid’s teen years? Why can’t moms be smart and professionally successful and hate cooking and cleaning? Why can’t moms fulfill their own destinies and ALSO be moms? Is it okay for moms to be bitchy? I mean, a lot of us actually ARE.

My mom as "Lalume" in KISMET

Here’s a better Hallmark Card for my Mom:

Mom, you always had my back and you always pushed me forward, accepting no excuses. You made me smart, strong and creative, and you showed me that I could be anything I wanted to be. You taught me that I should be of service to others less fortunate than I am, and to be outraged at injustice. Thanks for kicking me in the ass from time to time. It worked.

 Love, Eileen

 (P.S. Thanks for the cooking and cleaning, too. That was helpful.)

Moondance

If I’m being really honest, there are days here in New York City that suck. Caught in the rain, aching knees on the stairs, pee smell in the subway days. Waiting hours for an audition that doesn’t happen days.

 But then there are nights like tonight. Around 6:00, I headed to midtown to see “Old Jews Telling Jokes". I exited at the 42nd Street station, where, accompanied by a track, an opera soprano sang with such passion and abandon it brought tears to my eyes. A large appreciative audience had gathered to listen and applaud. 

Then at the West Side Theatre, “old Jews" (and a couple of young ones) brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Hilarious jokes, delivered with perfect timing — it was just great fun, shared by an audience that, being mostly Jewish, was roaring with laughter. They proved there is NOTHING in which you can’t find humor — even divorce, sickness and death. 

While waiting for my home-bound train on the C platform, a young white woman with a guitar sang old rock music while a homeless black guy joined in and they had a great time singing a duet.

As I walked home from the subway I heard music wafting from beyond my building. I walked further down the street and realized it was coming from the back of the large youth hostel in our neighborhood. There was some kind of party in the back yard, in an alcove where I couldn’t see. But I stood and listened to something that was sort of a cross between Enya and smooth jazz, sung by a woman with a haunting voice. As I turned to walk back to my apartment, I beheld a glorious full moon draped above Central Park.

 It’s times like this that I just love New York.

Birdland

I just love serendipity. Last night I went to Birdland, the famous jazz club. Monday night is Jim Caruso’s Cast Party. It had been recommended to me by several people as a great open mic attended by a big audience and, often, celebrities and Broadway performers. I took a seat at the bar and the fellow next to me said hello. I learned that he, Roger Patterson, was from San Francisco and he always came to Birdland when in NY on business. He asked if I was going to perform and I said yes, a blues tune. He said “wow, I have a blues band!" They play in the wine country around SF and are called Chord on Blue (get it? get it?). Turned out he plays harmonica, so I asked him to perform with me. It took some urging — he had never performed there or anywhere in New York, even though he visits every time he is in town, but he went back to his hotel room to get a harmonica in the right key. I signed us up on the performance list and while waiting I learned he is married, has two grown sons and several grandchildren. He learned about my family. He bought a CD from me without hearing me first, which shows an awful lot of trust! Anyway, the performers were mostly incredible. Performances ranged from show tunes to pop and jazz, with some original compositions thrown in. Backup band was incredibly good. It took awhile before Caruso called us up. There were many fantastic regulars and we were, after all, a completely unknown quantity. Tommy Tune was in the house and the place was packed with people. When he got to us, around midnight, (hey, that’s a song title!), he did a little interview and I shared that Roger and I had just met and thrown together this act just for the show. So, I sang Built for Comfort and Roger did some fills and took a couple of solos; we got the house rocking and the audience participating and the band was having a ball. It was great fun and seemed very well received. After I sat down, the bartender told me the sound guy said “Go Bucks", so he and I did a silent O.H.I.O. across the room — him in the sound booth and me at the bar. The best part of the whole evening was how thrilled Roger was. For him this was, in his words, the event of a lifetime. After listening to a few more fantastic performers, Roger took off to go to Don’t Tell Mama (he is quite the party animal) to hear some more performers, but I headed home. Maybe he and I will perform again in San Francisco with his band some day. George and I can take a vacation and visit wine country! Here’s the link to Roger’s band: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chord-On-Blue/528745370509824 Check it out!

How Music Made the Monster

I just finished the run of Frankenstein at Hudson Guild Company. It was a fun experience playing “The Baroness" Frankenstein who is quite bossy and pompous (no type casting comments!). Jim Furlong, who runs the arts program at the Hudson Guild, wrote the original play, inspired by the two films ("Frankenstein" and “Bride of Frankenstein"). As we rehearsed, I have to admit I was kind of afraid that the show would end up being pretty campy. And, of course, you just can’t help having a little “camp" in Frankenstein. It’s such a cheesy story really! But I was worried for Jim that people might laugh in places he really didn’t want them to. Then, he made the brilliant decision to hire Daniel Bennett (http://www.danielbennettgroup.com/) to create a live soundtrack for the play. With the help of an interesting set and great acting, the soundtrack made a huge difference to the show. I have never been in a stage play that made use of this. It had the effect of helping the audience realize what was “scary" and what was “humorous", working exactly the way a film or TV soundtrack does. It was super fun to watch Daniel at work. He played five or six different wind instruments - bass clarinet, clarinet, flute, oboe, saxophone and maybe something else I’m forgetting at the moment. He basically composed the whole show himself. My favorite sound effect was the “electricity" hum he created with the bass (baritone?) clarinet on a steady tone. It was very hard on his lip, but it was super super cool in the scene where Doctor Frankenstein electrifies the monster. Daniel and I have become friends and he was sweet enough to invite me to sing with his fabulous Daniel Bennett Group at Tomi Jazz on May 25th. I’m pretty excited about joining him. And I hope this won’t be the last time a director makes use of a live soundtrack like this. I’m definitely going to keep it in mind for future directorial efforts. Check out Daniel’s jazz music at http://www.danielbennettgroup.com/ and I hope you’ll join us at Tomi Jazz 8-10:30 on May 25. 239 East 53rd Street, New York.

How Do you Define Success?

Yesterday at my weekly workshop at The Complete Theatre Company, of which I’m a member, we had a discussion about success. As an artist, are you only a success when you make your living in the arts? By that definition, most of us are doomed. But, even more than that, I’ve found that focusing on the money does two negative things. First, it starts to make you cynical. You start feeling grouchy about how little you are paid and about how screwed up society is for not giving artists their due. Second, you have a tendency to start taking anything that pays, regardless of whether it is artistically fulfilling or even consistent with your goals. Since I moved to New York, many friends back in Columbus will mention how they are sure to see me one day “on Broadway". It is exciting to feel so supported and I love these friends! But… being on Broadway is not my definition of success here. And a good thing, too, because it is very unlikely to happen. It would require me to do certain things that, at this stage of my life, I’m not interested in, such as touring with a show. I just don’t want to be away from George that long and a life on the road holds no glamor for me. Instead, for me, my “success" is being busy with creative endeavors ranging from theater, film, singing jazz, singing with a chorus, writing a play (yes, I’m trying that, too!), working on my craft in my theater company, meeting people, seeing shows, hearing music, and experiencing New York with my best friend, George. By this definition, I’m a huge success already! Wow! I’ve decided I’m going to stop saying “none of it pays, of course" as some sort of apology, because, hell, is that really the point? For me, NO. We define what success is, so don’t listen to someone else’s plan for you. Listen to your heart and soul and follow your bliss.